Sunday, September 20, 2009

Reaching out...

This morning I turned on my laptop that I have been hoarding by my bed this week... It was very early but I woke and wanted to see if there was a message from the Mr.

I was excited to see that he had made some FB comments to me and then in the bottom of my screen I see the green checkmark bouncing with a "1"... could it be? Is he "SKYPING" me? Did he see that I was awake? DAMN! I did not bring up the webcam... my head is screaming expletives!!!!! I click and behold!

I SEE HIS FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks be to the Heavens above that he did not see me with a downpour exploding from my eyes!
I would type messages and he would speak! I would answer his verbal questions as quickly as possible with my high school typing skills... Thank goodness for those Mavis Bacon tutorials I sat through with my GED students!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was amazing... we agreed to try again later that morning with the kids... my day was turned around and wonderful!
The kids marveled in seeing the Mr.

In the darkness of my room, this morning when I saw his face I wanted to teleport him back to us. I wanted to touch his face and tell him how much I love him...

In all of this glory, I thought about how I have been reaching out to God more now than ever before... I have had moments in my life where I blamed the Great Creator... where I doubted Him. But after the birth of my children and my life with my husband... my doubts have ceased and I need strength. I am beginning to have daily pain again and I pray to the Heavens that it is just stress. It is hurting to walk again at times... to get up off the floor. I pray this is a fluke.

One other thing I find amazing about "reaching out." I'm learning that those that REALLY matter... are the ones that are my support systems. Not the ones calling to gossip but my geniune friends have been reaching out to us. I am amazed at some people and their unwillingness to reach out to us... but I am learning to not expect things in return and to merely do things because you want to do them and not expect anything in your time of need.

1 comment:

leo and hilary said...

I was so happy to see that I could get on the site and read your words. I worry so much and want to take your pain away. I love you and was so happy just talking to you on Skype. I love you all.