home...

Boomer the day the Mr. returned from Iraq... he wanted to wear his Hero hat to the airport.

The Mr. has been home for a little over a week now and I have to say... it has been WONDERFUL. I know I have probably been frustrating him because I went from doing everything to having to hand over some duties. I am trying REALLY hard with this transition. Not to mention, he came home and we were thrust into buying a car. This is not my favorite thing to do at all!

To top it off, I got a cold. Ugh! At least it is warming up a bit outside so any change in the weather for the best is a good one!
Love to all!

It never ceases and many other thoughts

Today, when I was shoveling snow, bundling kids, making breakfast, pulling my arthritic legs in front of me, and getting frustrated with all in my way... I stopped and thought.
This is coming to an end. I can count on three fingers the meals that someone has brought me and that's pushing it because my husband ordered a pizza for us from Iraq. I have family and just a few friends locally that check on us regularly. I don't want another deployed spouse to go through this.
I try not to be angry sometimes but what happened to help thy neighbor, rally the troops, am I wrong for feeling this way? You know how you get peace of mind... don't expect anything from anyone and you will be surprised when something does happen.
We all know that I had that piece of spine removed three weeks before Mr. left. I wonder how some people would cope with such a thing? Not one week went by that the sheets weren't washed, the linens weren't washed, clothes weren't ironed, toilets weren't scrubbed and stories weren't read... Goosie never went to school without her lunch packed or without me walking her into school.
I'm venting but I'm going to turn that into something productive... just wait and see!

Letters from Iraq

I've been so very blessed lately to receive quite a few letters/cards from the Mr.
I have had some struggles these past few days with the fact that I have become selfish out of self-preservation. My selfishness is not to hurt anyone or done maliciously... I'm exhausted. I'm very tired and dealing with what seems to be weekly "flare-ups." I have had to start realizing that I need to step back and take care of myself and the little people that rely on me daily.

I received a letter today that had special meaning for me... because... it said this:
"I miss you and I'm glad this is almost over. As a test, I feel like we passed with flying colors. All this did was reaffirm my love and dedication for you. Yes, it is miserable being away from you and the kids, but it has proven that we are strong. Strong than ever."

I hope the Mr. doesn't mind my sharing this. It meant so much to me to read those words because this is exactly how I feel about us.

sidenote:
I have some wonderful news that the bone is regrowing in my cervical spine fusing to the surgery site! That is amazing since there were some doubts at the last doctor's appointment. Now, I get to battle for two referrals... one a renewal to the neurosurgeon and one to a rheumatologist. I hope these are easily won! As of today, if the military moves as scheduled... I'm looking at hugging the Mr. in 49 days!

What 100 days has taught me...

I have learned quite a bit during these first 100 days of deployment.
One thing I have had to do is step away from my blog. I had to make the decision to leave the laptop and just simply go to bed. I'm the only one to take care of the kids and they need me fresh and ready.
And here are some of the other things I have learned:

1. I know exactly who my friends are and I don't need a ton of friends in my life. I have had to do some "friend weeding" this year and less drama = peaceful living.

2. There is soooo much truth to the phrase... deployment makes a strong marriage stronger and a weak marriage weaker. I feel like our marriage is even stronger than before!

3. You really know who will be there and who won't. Even if it's a phone call or a letter in the mail, it means so very much.

4. Just when you think you can't handle anymore... there is one more test!

5. Kids are resilient but they really need a team of support. Any extra phone calls, cards, etc. help them so much.

6. Drive-thru post office windows would be all the rage for deployed spouses... until you have pushed a stroller and lugged two or more boxes in the rain only to get to the post office that has no handicap door.... you could never truly understand!!!!

7. My neighborhood Rotary Club ROCKS! They provide two free boxes a month to deployed families! THIS IS INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have only paid to ship one box during this 100 days!!!!!!

8. I am so fortunate to have my kids with me... Leo goes to sleep each night in a bunk with no one to kiss him and say, "I love you." Every morning of our marriage that he has been home I have said, "Be safe." He replies, "ALWAYS ;)" I miss saying that to him.

9. Daddy Dolls... they are expensive. Looking for a place to give a donation... try www.hugahero.com. This has helped our kids so much and they carry them everywhere.

10. Take a deep breath, let the small stuff go... it will ALWAYS be there tomorrow!

tonight...

where I lived when we met... our first date took place here... Atlantic City
where we had our first dinner date in Atlantic City

tonight... I really miss him.

Daily love...

Lunchbox notes...

Before the Mr. left, he wrote many, many of these post-it's for Goosie's lunchbox.

Every day I put one in the lunchbox in a baggie along with a napkin.

Every day... she throws away all her trash but... when I open her lunchbox... the daily note is still inside with her ice pack.

She never, never throws them away.

It's amazing how the little things can make such a difference in someone's life.

I hope the Mr. knows how much these mean to our Goose!

I believe (and he will correct me) that he did nearly 200 of these notes.

{having been a school teacher... I really need to inform him that most school years are 185 days}

I don't think that many repeat themselves!

Put a little note... and a little love in someone's life today!

What did you say?

Oh... today was one of those days where you wish you could rewind the whole morning and replay...
Like frantically jumping out of bed because you are supposed to SKYPE with the Mr. in t-minus 10 minutes and the computer is shut down and the kids are asleep... YES, why is it they sleep in on the morning you need them to get up and get going?
So... then, the Mr. and I are talking on the phone later (yes, double communication) and I kept saying "WHAT, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
repeatedly
did I mention..........repeatedly
oh, yeah, over and over.............

Then, Goose is reading her latest choice from her Library class.
I can't remember the exact title... I will share it tomorrow as I am upstairs and it is downstairs and I am lazy right now.
But, it goes something like this...
The prince is at the bottom of the tower and he yells to Rapunzel to let down her hair....
She thinks he said, "underwear."
and then.......
giggles.........
"underwear"
tons of giggles
more giggles
"UNDERWEAR"
you get the picture.
For some reason, unknown to me :)
That line in the story got more giggles than one could imagine.
At least we know she can read!

Reaching out...

This morning I turned on my laptop that I have been hoarding by my bed this week... It was very early but I woke and wanted to see if there was a message from the Mr.

I was excited to see that he had made some FB comments to me and then in the bottom of my screen I see the green checkmark bouncing with a "1"... could it be? Is he "SKYPING" me? Did he see that I was awake? DAMN! I did not bring up the webcam... my head is screaming expletives!!!!! I click and behold!

I SEE HIS FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks be to the Heavens above that he did not see me with a downpour exploding from my eyes!
I would type messages and he would speak! I would answer his verbal questions as quickly as possible with my high school typing skills... Thank goodness for those Mavis Bacon tutorials I sat through with my GED students!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was amazing... we agreed to try again later that morning with the kids... my day was turned around and wonderful!
The kids marveled in seeing the Mr.

In the darkness of my room, this morning when I saw his face I wanted to teleport him back to us. I wanted to touch his face and tell him how much I love him...

In all of this glory, I thought about how I have been reaching out to God more now than ever before... I have had moments in my life where I blamed the Great Creator... where I doubted Him. But after the birth of my children and my life with my husband... my doubts have ceased and I need strength. I am beginning to have daily pain again and I pray to the Heavens that it is just stress. It is hurting to walk again at times... to get up off the floor. I pray this is a fluke.

One other thing I find amazing about "reaching out." I'm learning that those that REALLY matter... are the ones that are my support systems. Not the ones calling to gossip but my geniune friends have been reaching out to us. I am amazed at some people and their unwillingness to reach out to us... but I am learning to not expect things in return and to merely do things because you want to do them and not expect anything in your time of need.

Thank you...

I have been lack in posting this week but I would like to thank all that are checking and reading this blog.
I have been really busy and exhausted, too...
I would love to thank everyone for the calls, notes, emails and funny FB messages that keep me laughing.
Today, I had an xray to see if the surgery fused my vertebrae... it was a very painful experience as they made me hold weights to pull my shoulders down in order to get a clear view.
I see the surgeon next week so I will know where we go from here...
This has been a very difficult week for Goosie so please keep her in your thoughts and prayers...
Our love to all!

How long is 5 months anyway?

5 months equals:

1/2 pregnancy
1/2 school year
20 weekends (at least)

what is 5 months to you????????
leave comments... I know your reading! :)

Structure makes us feel safe...

Goodness... the days are starting to roll! I cannot believe how much the calendar filled for the rest of September.
We will be on the move and keeping our minds occupied! WITH HAPPY THOUGHTS!
I love this time of year that includes field trips to orchards to pick apples, storytime at the Library, and pumpkin spice candles burning in the kitchen!
With the Mr. gone... I'm determined to rejoice in the coming of Autumn! There are jack-o-laterns to light in the evenings and the costumes are made and purchased!
Plus, any day that I get a phone call from overseas is a GREAT one!
Our days are so structured that it is working out well for us! We often find comfort in the predictable...

If Boomer Could Blog

My Daddy called today...
He is far away.
I cried at the sound of his voice...
everyone wondered why I did not rejoice.
I'm screaming hourly in my sleep.
Most boys are slumbering without a peep.
My Mommy's pacing the floor...
It's months before Daddy comes back through that door....

Makin' It...

Being minus one Rondeau is not easy. I think we blew a million kisses towards the seas tonight.
We are makin' it, though!
One thing is making it very easy...
please visit:
www.hugahero.com

It has made things a little easier in dealing with everyone's emotions.
I love the emails, facebook IM's, and phone calls! It really helps! Having my parents here has been amazing, too. It allows me to take "breaks" and get myself together.
If you have a moment, say a prayer for the Crew!

family portraits... early this year

photos by J. Crawford Photography

This year, our portaits had to be done early. Every year in the past, we get dressed up in our "Christmas attire" and head to a studio and take a yearly shot.

This year...due to circumstances... we had to take them early if we wanted to have them at all.

The Mr. asked a dear friend of ours, Mrs. Jessica (as the kids call her) if she would take our photos. I'm so glad she agreed! We have some marvelous photos that capture the real Rondeaus... not the studio Rondeaus.

When someone does something like this for you, how do you ever repay them... words cannot express the appreciation for the gift that will last us a lifetime!

Mrs. Jessica is wonderfully talented!

I am so thankful she agreed!

Before you leave...

I will continue to snap pictures with my eyes and store them in my memory until you come home.

I will cherish every second of every day with you.

The little "things" won't matter.

I will hold your hand more often.

I will remember to do this when you get back. Because, we easily forget to do them until someone has to leave.

Independence and the Mr.

Today is the 4th of July... you know that right? But... really, it's Independence Day. For us, it is another day that the Mr. is home so we can savor more time with him.

There is applesauce cooking on the stove. A delicious smell fills our air conditioned home right now. Goosie and Boomer are upstairs playing in Goosie's bedroom and there is a boom of thunder. I just heard two sets of little feet run for the Mr.

Soon...

There will be no running towards the Mr.

He will be supporting those fighting for the freedom of others... Independence from insurgents and militants that have destroyed their lives.

I will be the one they run to when the thunder roars. I will be alone in my battle of the boo boos...

Thank you for all your dedication, Mr. We love you... to the sun and the moon and back.

The flu, the call, the guilt, and the Cricut

Things are slowly returning to normal here in our little plot of land and home in IL.
We all had the flu... I'm still coughing and Goosie missed three days of school last week. Boomer is a tough cookie and seemed to make it through with just a runny nose. Plus, Alden and I had to make 52 Valentines through all the fever and aches... UGH!

This week was a rollercoaster... well... one day in particular. We received a call that Leo would be heading to Afghanistan in August. It would be a six month tour. Of course, I was sad and he was too as we started to immediately calculate all the things he would miss... Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthdays... all alone here without him.

Then...

a little while later....

The phone rings, again.

It's his supervisor...

They decided to take someone else from his office...

I feel so guilty for being overjoyed. I feel guilty for wanting Leo home now knowing that someone else is going to be without a father and husband for those six months... I know... it's probably rediculous but I still feel guilty for being happy that Leo isn't going.

BUT... it looks like November is going to be the time that he may leave anyway... we will see and no sense in worrying now. I love him so much and it seems like I am counting the days until retirement and we don't have to worry about just when he is going to deploy and where he might be going.



Onward.... My Mom and Dad sent me a CRICUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm soooo in love with this crazy machine!!!! It came with four cartridges so I have been playing and playing! Stay tuned for some Cricut magic :)!