Monday, June 22, 2009

Tomorrow and Inner Turmoil

Tomorrow... the MR. and I will face a beast we have battled and held behind enemy lines many times before. Only this time... I believe the beast will need to brought to the attention of others as we will need their assistance in this battle.

I see the doctor tomorrow... was in the hospital last week. The area around my spinal cord is narrowing more and we will need to obtain referrals... a couple, a few... we will see.

I am sad. It will pass. Picking up Goosie and Boomer for enormous hugs and sloppy kisses has become more difficult with each passing moment.

I am a fighter. You have to fight for yourself so that people listen. Sometimes, it is difficult to realize that doctors are humans, too. I will research, list, call, reiterate... whatever it takes at this point.

I am tired. This will be my third neurosurgeon in two years. I am heading towards my second rheumatologist, too. Facts and observations are to be repeated many times again. You become a list of symptoms and diagnosis'.

I am in love... with the man that holds my hand each time. He is the fighter by my side.
with my children. They deserve a Mom that can run in the backyard or drive a million errands without thought of the consequences of pain in the following days.

I am a creator... so don't think for one moment that there won't be more postings :)

1 comment:

Pernilla said...

HUGS my beautiful friend! I wish I could help you out just for a day at least. I need to become very rich so I can get that private jet. For now thoughts and hugs from a distance will have to do.